Love Denied, Passion Found

Disclaimer: SM owns all recognizable characters. No copyright infringement is intended. The plot herein is mine. No plagiarism!

This story contains mature themes and is suitable for those eighteen and over.

This is for the awesome beanothercullen! Who puts up with my madness. For billionth time, thanks for working with my crazy ass.

After being released from prison, Edward tries to find his place back in the world. With a job, a life, and a smart mouth, tattooed parole officer he can’t keep out of his deepest fantasies, Edward attempts to restart the life he almost lost. Mature themes, Slash, E/J.

Edward

The last gate buzzed and opened up, but still, I was hesitant to cross the line. Was this a dream or some sort of nightmare? Because I couldn’t believe it.  I was really out?

The guard up in the tower walked out and looked down at me. He shook his head and chuckled before sarcastically gesturing that I should go ahead and take those last steps forward. He needed to shut the gate behind my ass. But still, I hesitated.

It has been seven years since I last saw outside of these gates; the last time being when the bus carrying me, drove through them, and I was then escorted inside, chained and humiliated. I had been surrounded by hardened criminals who leered at the lanky rich boy that had been all over the news for beating his mom’s ex-husband to death.

My life became a media circus the day I turned myself in. The news spoke of the Harvard Law School graduate who was destined to become a lawyer like his grandfather, one of the most prominent attorneys in the country. To them, I was Edward Cullen; the promising twenty-five year old who had it all, but who then threw it all away on a manslaughter charge. 

Everyone thought I had it made. Everyone thought I had a rich mommy and daddy who must have really loved me, because I was being represented by Aro Volturi, one of the top lawyers in the country; a former Harvard Law graduate himself, who had been mentored by my grandfather. So everyone thought I was lucky.

They also thought I was fortunate to only get ten years for manslaughter, instead of a more severe sentence. But while the public either hated or loved what they heard, I couldn’t see what they saw, because I knew the truth. I knew that my life, the one I thought had been living, was all a fucking lie. And the devastating truth would haunt me for the rest of my life.

I hadn’t just killed the man attacking my mother. I had killed my own father.

I wasn’t a Cullen as I was led to believe all these years. Before after turning myself in, but before my trial started, my dad, Carlisle Cullen sat me down and told me the truth. HE had started by saying they were sorry for waiting as long as they did, and he even admitted that he felt selfish enough at one point not want Esme to tell me the truth about my paternity because in his eyes, I was his son.

But Carlisle wasn’t my biological father. Instead, a man named Charles Evenson was; the bastard who used to abuse my mom. The man whose skull I crushed against the tile of our former home. Carlisle told me that he and Mom had met while she was pregnant with me. He told that he swore he fell in love with her on the spot. He said that he had to remain calm the first time he saw the signs of abuse, in the form of bruises. Dad said he tried to advise Mom to think about me, and take the best possible option in regards to her life.

But before Mom could, Charles beat her so severely, Dad said it was a surprise Mom and I got out of it alive. A neighbor had heard her cries and called the cops, but by the time they got there, Charles was long gone and Mom was near death.

Dad said his heart stopped when they wheeled my mom into the ER that night, and from then on, he never left her side. I was taken from her, via c-section, and then it was touch and go from then on until the day Mom opened her eyes.  Carlisle said he took on the role of being my dad as time went on and Esme opened up her heart to him, while Charles Evenson remained on the run until the day he showed at our home.

I had already graduated law school and would start to work in Granddad’s law firm soon, but I had decided to come and stay with my family for the weekend. I was just getting back from Port Angeles, and I walked in on them in kitchen.

Charles had my mom over by the sink, choking her while he called her a whore. Her back was being pressed into the hard corners of it, and her face was turning blue. I went in a rage. I lost all rational thought and attacked him.

I could hear my mother’s screams. I could feel gentle hands pulling at me, but they didn’t make an ounce of difference as I snuffed the life out of Charles Evenson before I found out that he was my father.

Carlisle promised to be there after he finished telling me the truth, but he was wrong. There was another who wanted nothing to do with me.

While I struggled with the truth about my paternity, my grandfather fought against my parents’ decision to still treat me like a Cullen. “He isn’t blood!”  Was what he had once said venomously in my presence. There had been many arguments between my dad and him since the truth came out. However, my dad tried to hold strong while he and Mom continued to support me no matter what. They even stayed by my side all through my trial, much to my grandfather’s chagrin.

Mom blamed herself for what happened. She felt that she wasn’t strong enough. Not only when I was on top of Charles, beating the life out of him, but when her folks persuaded her to marry him. She thought it was all her fault. But while her guilt ate at her, I was displeased in knowing that I was related to that abusive piece of shit. It had rocked me to my core. The mere blood of Charles Evenson running through my veins angered me. When I shared this with Mom, she only smiled amidst her tears and said, “You’re better than he ever was. You’re Carlisle’s son, no matter what, and we won’t stop because of his dad.”

They didn’t.

My grandfather did his best to keep the scandal of my true paternity under wraps. How he kept it out of the press was nothing short of a miracle since they had been so obsessed with my case. Nonetheless, only our immediate family and friends knew the truth about me.

My parents were strong and did their best to fight my grandfather’s hold, but he was stronger. He controlled our wealth and he fought dirty. He used various expenses to keep my dad in line; such as Alice’s schooling and other expenditures.

 Grandfather wanted my dad to turn his back on me and when Carlisle wouldn’t, he moved on to my mom, stating that she was only still involved with the family because she did give birth a true Cullen, Alice.

But my little sister also fought for me. She rebelled and stuck by me despite Grandfather’s threats. But I knew the man all too well and I knew how terrible he could be.

So as much as it hurt, I told them to let me go; to follow his orders, and to stay away from me. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I had to distance myself despite of how much my heart broke to do it. I was then secretly kicked out of the Cullen family by my asshole of a grandfather and was only to be represented by Aro for publicity purposes. Upon my release from prison, I was to have little to no contact with the family.  

But my family didn’t listen. Alice visited, Mom visited, and Carlisle came bearing gifts. He brought whatever he could bring; from books to music. Whatever he was allowed to give me, my dad did.

Mom’s visits were always the hardest and left me drained. She continued to blame herself for everything that happened, and I would always advise Dad to get her therapy until they did. After that, her visits became a little easier on us both.

Dad was always worried about prison life and the controversial issues with inmates, namely, sexual relations. I nearly cracked up the first time, Dad begged me ‘not to drop the soap’. That shit was funny as hell. But I joked back that since I was already gay, I thought I could find a few good boys in there to pass time with.

Dad laughed his ass off on that one.

My parents have known and supported me being gay since I came out to them when I was a teenager. It wasn’t hard for Mom or Dad to accept it. My mom said she already guessed it and was just waiting on me to admit it to them. While my dad just wanted to know if I was sure and if I was happy with my decision. When I expressed that I was, he just smiled and told me that he was happy I came to them. Alice just wanted me to hook her up with any of my boyfriends’ hot and straight brothers.

That was Alice.

Her visits were always the best until she left Washington and headed to New York for her life’s obsession, fashion. Then it was down to a few visits, but our phone calls remained constant.

Grandfather fumed over my family’s decision to continue to support me and he even sued my dad once. My good friend, Bella, defended Dad and he won his case against Granddad. The fact that my granddad went that far as to sue my dad on some bullshit he came up with, was enough to make me warn them to stay away.

This time, they followed my advice a little. The calls were cut down and the visits became less.

Without my family keeping my sanity, I started to focus more on my life within the walls of Masen Correctional Facility. To say it was a real eye opener would be an understatement. While I tried to keep my head down and my ass out of trouble, I was still a target.

My first year was the roughest. I practically fought for my ass that year. But when I befriended a guard, Emmett McCarty, things miraculous got a little easier for me. I guess being friends with the security forces within those walls was a good thing sometimes. But I still had to toughen up if I wanted to survive on my own. Emmett couldn’t always be there to protect my ass. So I took to the gym in the yard. I packed on some muscles and even added a few tattoos from another good friend in there on the same charge as me, manslaughter.

Jake was a helluva tattoo artist. He could do anything. Since I could draw a little, I’d make my sketches of what I wanted and get it to him. I quickly learned from my time in prison, that it was mostly about connections. Jake got his things because not only was he scary as fuck – I mean, the guy was huge – but he was also fucking one of the few female guards we had, a real hard ass, Leah Clearwater.

Leah got Jake whatever he needed for his tattoo business that he ran from the inside, and Emmett kept trouble away from me. When I started to hang out with Jake, I noticed that Leah and Emmett grew close and they both started to watch my back.

But there were many more types of businesses being run in there; from drugs to even murder. When something was going to go down, those who didn’t want to be involved, would either disappear or just pretend like it wasn’t happening right next to them.

It was a terrible thing to see, but in order to survive, I kept my head down and my nose out of their business.

But that didn’t mean I wasn’t approached.

My third year in there, I was approached by one of the worst gangs and asked to join. I refused, because I didn’t want to add to my sentence by doing some dumb shit for them and get more years piled on my ten year sentence. I wanted to do my time and get out. But telling them no was a mistake.

Later on that day, I was attacked in the shower, beaten and stabbed in the side for defending myself. I wasn’t a punk and the guy was fucking huge, but I wasn’t about to have my ass handed to me by some asshole without getting a few punches in. I wasn’t about to become anybody’s bitch. Besides, I had my eye on Emmett. Who I fucked was my choice and these fuckers would have to deal with that shit.

That day, Emmett came to my rescue. One second, the dick was over me – though my vision was blurred from the motherfucker slamming my head into the shower wall – the next, he was gone. He was hoisted into the air and slammed into the opposite wall before a few guards started pounding on his ass while I was thrown over Emmett’s shoulder and taken to the infirmary.

While in there, Emmett visited me a lot. Jake too – though he was there because one of the rooms in the back was where he and Leah got it on – Emmett and I had heard them on more than one occasion. But what mattered to me was Emmett frequenting the infirmary and how those visits brought us closer.

By the time I was out of there, we were involved.

It was difficult being with Emmett, with him being a guard, and me, an inmate, but we worked around it.

It was all about connections.

With knowing the right people like Leah, Emmett and I had someone to keep an eye out for us. We had some hot nights in my cell or wherever we could meet.

Emmett was just my type. A well built guy with tight abs, a huge dick and who was fucking amazing in bed. Emmett had a mouth like a Hoover. He could suck a cock like his life depended on it and I couldn’t say how many times my eyes rolled back in my head like the fucking exorcist when he took me down his throat.

Our relationship lasted for a good while and it was the greatest time of my life despite where I was. I had never met anyone like Emmett. He was caring, understanding and not just looking to get laid, in spite of how and where we met. Even though we weren’t in love or anything, we cared about each other deep enough to remain friends after we ended things following his transfer to another prison in another state. Leah got his letters to me and we maintained our friendship to this day.

But without Emmett, my parents and their frequent visits, my sister and her quirkiness, I was one pissed off son of a bitch. I wouldn’t talk to anyone and everyone stayed away from me. But Jake eased some of the pressure. I started to work with him on the tattoos thing. I’d sketch what the other guys and even some of the guards asked me for, and Jake would do the tattoo. Aside from that, I spent a lot of time in the prison’s library, reading and just letting willing myself to get lost in the written word. The pain of losing another person I cared about, of having them walk out of my life, was heartbreaking.

I was a fucked up victim of circumstance.

Jake got out two years before me on parole, based on good behavior. He and Leah were married the next day. It turned out that she was pregnant and quickly quit her job. They are doing fine. He and I still talked too.

The rest of my sentence was spent with me working in the prison library. I read to my heart’s content, worked, and kept my head down. By my seventh year in here, I was brought before the parole board where I was released on good behavior. I was to spend the reminding three years of my ten year sentence under the watchful eye of my parole officer. Bella had worked out that deal for me.

“You going or not?” The guard shouted down to me and I took the last steps over the line. When I heard the gates close behind me, I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding and walked off.

There was no one waiting for me and I wanted to be sad about that, but I just shook my head, tightened my grip on my backpack, and headed to the bus stop not far away.

It was a sunny day, and the heat and light from the glowing orb was beating down on my pale muscles as sweat formed on my forehead while I made the trek. Cars flew by me while I sighed, ran my hand through my hair and walked on.

Before I left, I was shocked when I had gotten my things.  There were clothes, IDs, and money inside a backpack. But who did this for me? But why I asked myself that, I didn’t know because I knew who did it. I just had to find out when.

I begged a call, and called my mom first. She was to know that I was getting out and promised to be in Seattle to greet as soon as she could. But I reminded her of and she calmed down and said she would be there when she could. I smiled at that. I couldn’t wait to see her. I asked her about my backpack and she said Dad did it. He made friends with a guard there, a Native American woman, and she told him she would take care of it.

Leah.  

After hanging with Mom, I quickly called Jake before the guard stopped me. He answered on the second ring.  “What’s up?”

“I’m out.”

“Fuckin’ yes! I’m happy for you, Edward.” He cheered.

“I got to know something,” I asked, getting right down to it. “I got a package, and I was wond…”

“Yeah, your old man paid my girl thirty thousand to keep you safe after she explained to him that your little boyfriend got transferred,” Jake said. Carlisle was amazing. My eyes welled up with tears.

“He paid her before?”

“Nah, they just talked and he expressed how worried he was about you.”

“Okay.“

“What? You think it was all you, tough guy?” I chuckled along with Jake. “Yeah, I got my share when I got out, a few thousand to start up my business for also keeping you safe. I’m sorry I didn’t get fast enough to you that day though.”

“It’s alright, man.” Jake had been apologizing since I was attacked those years ago and now I knew why. Dad was paying them to keep me safe. But what about Emmett? “Hey, Jake, what about Em?”

“Oh, big guy?” he chuckled. “He wasn’t in on it. It was just me and Leah. You old man met her during one of his visits to you.”

We talked quickly and I told him I’d stay in touch. When the guard came in, I promised myself I would call Emmett when I got to where I was going.

Wherever that may be.

Jake had told me he was in Port Angeles, and if I wanted to, when my time with my parole officer was up, I could come down and stay with them. I agreed. We both knew that I couldn’t leave Seattle until my three year sentence was up, but it would be nice to see my friend again so Jake promised to visit me when I got settled.

I reached the bus stop and waited. While standing there, I was wondering how long it would take before a bus come, but I didn’t have to worry about that when a black SUV pulled up, and the tinted window rolled down, greeting me with the sight of his handsome face.

“You Cullen?” He asked with a southern accent mingling in his smooth voice.

“Yeah.” I said hesitantly with a knitted brow. “Who wants to know?”

“Whitlock,” he said, pointing at himself. “Your parole officer. Bella told me you would be getting out today.”

“So what are you doing here?” I didn’t think these guys picked you up; I thought you had to find your way to them.

He didn’t answer my question. “You gettin’ in or not? It’s a hot ass day, pretty boy.” Damn! I should have been offended by the condescending way he said that – I wasn’t pretty, and I wasn’t a boy anymore – I was a grown man of thirty-two years who had just spent the last seven years of his life in incarceration.

But between his voice and that fucking accent, all I could think about was him riding me. My cock had hardened just at the sight of him.  

Nevertheless, aside from my attraction to this guy, Bella had warned me about the parole officer I would be getting. She said she knew him real well and that he was a hard ass. The first thing I should do as soon as I set foot in Seattle was get to the address she had given me. She didn’t want him giving me a hard time. But I wasn’t banking on him showing up as soon as I set foot outside Masen Correctional Facility.

 “Yeah, alright then,” I said, walking toward the truck. I opened up the back door and threw my backpack on the seat before climbing into the passenger’s seat.

He pulled back out on the road and sped off. “I’m Jasper, by the way” he said as he blasted the A/C, making me want to kiss him in appreciation.

“I’m Edward.”

“Yeah, I know,” he scoffed like it was the most obvious thing. Smartass! “You were in on a manslaughter charge, got ten years and served seven.” The way he said it in that snide, disdainful manner, made me feel like shit. Was this how convicts felt on the outside? I’d heard talks of it. How out of place they felt. How society treated them like they had the some sort of incurable, contagious disease.

I scowled. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

Jasper smiled. “Do you think what you did was a bad thing?”

Great! Now he was answering a question with a question. I hated that shit. Why not give me a straight answer? “I ended a life. Despite what he was, I ended a life, and it wasn’t premeditated either. I walked in on him kicking my mom’s ass and I fucking crushed his skull. I was just defending someone I loved.”

He said nothing else and I was happy for that. As hot as he looked, I didn’t need his bullshit right now so I looked away; taking in the serenity as he sped down the road.

Staring out the window, all I could think about was how much I wished I saw my family as soon as I walked out of those gates. I wished I had walked right into my mom’s and sister’s arms. I wished my dad was there to hug me to him and tell me it would be alright now.

But I couldn’t have that. I had told them to stay away because I hated how my granddad was treating them. I was the bastard child and my broken heart was paying for it.

Another thing that was bothering me was, “What the hell am I going to do when I get to Seattle?” Sure, Jasper had picked me up, but what was going to happen when he dropped me off? I couldn’t go to Forks, and I had no home in Seattle. Before I went to prison, I was living in Boston while attending law school, and I was sure my granddad must have gotten rid of that upscale apartment I had years ago.

So where was I to go now?

It made my head hurt to think about it. I should probably just sit back and enjoy the ride to Seattle while thinking about the dirty ways I wanted to do to my cocky parole officer. I wonder, how many ways could I get him to scream my name?

Jasper could be an asshole when he wanted to be. I could tell. I was pretty good at reading people. But he was also one hot guy, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was gay. Every time I’d glance at him, I couldn’t get over handsome he was, sitting there with his tatted arms on display because the sleeves of his black dress shirt were rolled up to his elbows. His hair was another thing that was doing wonders for the fantasies I would definitely be having later on. It was shaved at the sides, and the long brown hair in the middle was pinned up in a ponytail, dancing at the base of his neck.

Aside from the occasional scowls he would throw my way, Jasper was beautiful. He had a good built; a swimmer’s body that left me hoping that the tattoos on his arms weren’t the only ones. I hoped his entire body was riddled with them.

“What’s up with you?” he sighed exasperatedly, rolling his eyes as he glanced over at me.

“What do you mean?” I smirked. Maybe messing with him while I wondered if he played for my team or not, could distract from my troubles. I loved a challenge, and if Jasper wanted to be a smart ass then so could I.

“You keep looking at me like you’re trying to figure out something.” The smirk he threw my way made me want to kiss him; the corner of his mouth curled up in the sultriest way.

“Maybe I do.” I chuckled, staring in to his eyes. Jasper had some of the deepest blue eyes I had ever seen in my life. They were open, honest and extraordinarily breathtaking. It was like I was staring into the depths of stormy waters whenever he looked at me.

“And what is that?” He smiled.

“If you’re gay or not.”

Jasper chuckled while we stopped at the red light; we were in the Seattle now. He eased back in his seat and looked at me, his powerful gaze holding me prisoner. He licked his lips and then bit the bottom one, holding it between his teeth, and causing my erection to spring to life as my mind flooded with fantasies of him and me.

However, the smart ass dashed them with his next words. “I gotta admit, darlin’, you are a good looking guy, and under normal circumstances, I’d love to see how that cock tasted…” Fuck! He was better than I thought. “But unfortunately, I don’t fuck around with my convicts. You look like a lovely ride though, Edward.”

I was speechless as he drove off with us. Jasper would definitely be a challenge, but I welcomed it.

We spent the rest of our drive in relative silence but not an uncomfortable one though. The truck was buzzing with sexual tension, and I had to shamelessly adjust myself more than once when Jasper ran his hand through his hair, taking an offensive strand out of his eye.

Jasper drove us to an apartment building, and stopped. He got out and then directed me to do the same. He walked off and I got my backpack and followed him inside. We took the elevator after passing a doorman which left me wondering how expensive this place was. The elevator took us up to the fourth floor, and opened its doors. Jasper got off, and again, I followed him down the well lit halls to a door marked 4B. He got out a key, and opened up the door to a very decent apartment.

“Why are we here?” I asked, looking around the living room.

Jasper was standing in the middle of the room and he tossed the keys to me, which I caught effortlessly, while looking at him quizzically. “This is your place.”

“What?” Since when did ex-cons get great places to live in? I was on my own and most of the savings I had was tied up with the Cullen accounts so I basically had nothing. How was I supposed to afford this place? Mom and Dad got me things from time to time, but I wanted to stand on my own two feet now. And worse, I didn’t want Granddad hounding them.

“You got friends in high places.” Jasper chuckled, moving pass me, but not before stopping at my ear. “But I’m watching you. Don’t fuck with me, Cullen.”  

I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t stop looking around the room. Mom and Dad. This had to be them again. No wonder Mom said she would see me soon. She knew exactly where to go.   

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Cullen. We’ll talk about getting you a job.” Those were Jasper’s last words to me before he slammed door shut behind him.

~~LDPF~~

Some months later…

Getting back in the groove of things wasn’t easy. For the first few weeks I felt like a fucking alien. Despite my talks with Emmett, Jake, my family, Bella, and even, Leah, I still felt like I was from Mars because I couldn’t remember how to function out here. Everything I did still resembled my time in prison. I was suspicious of everyone. I slept and kept watch like I thought someone was going to attack me at any second. Nothing had changed in my mind.

However, my greatest help was Jasper. He was still snide as fuck but he understood me. He helped me cope. I didn’t feel like a part of society, and I most definitely wouldn’t be invited back the high society I grew up in anymore, because I was now a parasite; a plague on humanity.

But Jasper made me feel human. He spoke to me and treated me like I was human.

It meant a lot.

Every day that passed, I fell for him a little more.  Since our time together when he picked me up outside of prison, things have gotten from bad to worse in the feelings department when it came to Jasper. My thoughts and emotions have moved on from lust, to like and was rapidly morphing into love. Jasper was speedily becoming more and more important to me as the days passed.

I would get laid occasionally, seeing as my job as a bartender brought in quite a few hot guys into my bed but none of them were Jasper. My dreams, my fantasies, the one who I had to close my eyes and imagine while I was cock deep in other guys.  

He lived in my every thought. His smile, the way he laughed, his voice, the way he’d lean against the wall when I opened the door to him sometimes. And that, ever loving smirk on his face that made him look so fuckable, they’d all be the death of me.

I didn’t try to hide the way I felt about Jasper. Neither did he stop flirting with me. Jasper may have said that he wasn’t interested, but his actions spoke louder than his words. He would come over uninvited – not that I wanted to stop him – he would seek me out at work, seeing as he and my boss, Peter, were old college buddies, and Jasper and his band played in the club a few nights a week.

When they got in to set up, Jasper would hang out at the bar with me, and even serve himself at times. But when he’d come around the bar, he would make sure to rub up against my ass as he passed, making me feel his erection digging into my backside. Other times, it would be the other way around. He would block my path to something on the shelf and I would have to stand extremely close to him to get it.

It was sweet torture.

Tonight would be one of those tortuous nights. It was Friday, and Jasper and his band would be playing tonight. After getting in, I waved to my co-workers and joked around a bit with the bouncers before heading to the bar to get ready for the night.

Jasper and his band arrived soon after to set up, and after he was through warming up, he made his way over to me. I had already checked in with him earlier in the day for my appointed visit, but seeing him now in those black jeans, boots, and a fitted plaid shirt with a few buttons undone, revealing his hard chest, made my mouth water.

“What’s up?” he asked, casually taking a seat before me on a stool.

“Nothing much, want a beer?” I had to play it cool. Jasper was too much of a temptation and I didn’t want to lose this job because I jumped him right where he sat.

“As always, darlin.’” He smiled.

He had gotten into the habit of calling me that and I would die if he stopped. He only did it when we were alone in my place, but I noticed that he didn’t call anyone else that. I knew. I listened for it. It was like it was a term reserved for someone he cared about, and maybe it was my lonely heart talking, but it made me feel damn special to have that sentiment directed at me.

It warmed my heart to know someone still loved me. Again, maybe it was just my lonely heart talking or it was the phone call I had gotten earlier from my mom.

Mom was inviting me to her birthday party tomorrow. I had flat out told her no, even though it hurt me to say it. But Mom was persistent.

“Edward, he won’t be there,” she pleaded.

I closed my eyes and slightly hit my head against the wall next to the phone. “Mom, I can’t. You might think that Granddad won’t be there, but I know the man. He’ll show up and I don’t want to mess up your birthday. I swear, I’ll call you and wish you a ‘Happy Birthday’ I won’t be the one to ruin it by showing up.”

“No!” she said defiantly. “I want you there, Edward.” Her voice trembled with her sobs. “You’re my son, I love you and I want you there.”

Mom was breaking through. She always knew how to get to me; how to make my heart melt at her words.

So by the end of that conversation, I was heading to one of her favorite restaurants here in Seattle for her birthday dinner tomorrow night.

 “What is it?” Jasper asked as the club started to fill up with patrons.

“Why do you ask?” I replied, trying to play dumb, but secretly loving that Jasper always seemed to know when something was bothering me.

“Because you’ve got that look.” He smirked, polishing off his beer.

“What look?” I smiled, running a hand through my unruly hair, and watching his eyes as he followed my every move. He moved a little on his seat, and I couldn’t help the grin that lit up my face. It was good to know I affected him the way he affected me.

He chuckled, but went on in a serious tone. “The look that says you want to tell me something.”

He was good. He read me well. I did want to share something with him. “Well, I want to ask you something,” I said. “And you’re free to say no.”

“Won’t know unless you ask,” he countered with a gentle smile. I loved this kinder side of him sometimes, though the hard ass he could be was a major turn on.

I sighed. “My mom wants me to come to her birthday dinner…” Jasper already knew what was going on with me and my family. He knew the strain we were under from my overbearing former grandfather, and he didn’t agree with what Cullen Sr. was putting my dad and us through. Jasper thought my granddad was a fucking asshole.

Those were his exact words when he and I talked about it a couple weeks ago. My granddad had contacted me after Alice and her boyfriend came to see me because she wanted us to meet. My granddad called my cell a couple hours after I got back from lunch with Alice. I didn’t know how he got my number, but it was a good thing Jasper was there when he called. To hear the words, “Stay away from my family, you criminal,” come out of the mouth of a man who I loved and respected all my life was too much to bear, and I broke down.

But Jasper was there for me. He listened, and we talked. He advised me, and it helped me feel better.

 “And?” he asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.

“…and I don’t want to go alone.” It was the truth. I didn’t want to face them alone. I didn’t want to run the risk of coming face-to-face with Cullen Sr. I know my dad, Carlisle, would be there. I know if anything happened and I got into it with Cullen Sr. Dad would help me, but I just…I didn’t want have to deal with it. I was learning to move on. I was learning accept my life as it is and most of all, I was learning to live again without the money and prestige that came along with being a Cullen.

Jasper looked pensive for a minute, and then a bandmate of his started to call him over. But he didn’t move right away. He sighed and met my eyes. “Alright, darlin’…” I smiled at the sentiment. “I’ll go with you.”

“Thank you,” I told him, and he smiled and left for the stage.

                                                                    ~~LDPF~~         

“You gotta stop shaking, Edward.” Jasper laughed though he wasn’t joking. He was just trying to get me to lighten up. I had been a nervous wreck since he picked up, and more than once, I have asked him to turn the car around and head back to my apartment.

He had flat out refused and said I needed to do this. He reminded me that I survived prison and shouldn’t let a pompous prick make me feel any less because he was an asshole. I smiled and relaxed for a minute after he said that.

Jasper was protecting me; defending me, and it was eating away at me that I hadn’t told him that I was falling for him yet. I couldn’t go on like this. He had to know. I had been trying to keep it bottled up inside because he said he wasn’t interested in dating me, but his actions said otherwise, and I needed to know if he cared too. He didn’t have to be as in love with me as I was with him; I just wanted to know if he cared. I promised myself that after Mom’s birthday dinner, I would ask him when he took me home. Tonight wasn’t about to end without Jasper knowing that I was madly in love with him.

Jasper pulled to a stop in front of the restaurant. We got out and the valet took his keys. My stomach was in knots, and I froze at the door, but Jasper took my hand, pulling me along. “Hey, come on. Let’s head in there.”

I looked at him, long and hard; his eyes shining with nothing but care and understanding. “Who are you?” I asked and he smiled, but I had to know. “Why do you care so much? I told you almost everything about me and I hardly know anything about you.”

He paused for a second and his eyes became unreadable. “I’m a man that once stood in your position, wanting his family to love and understand him; to accept him. My position was different though. I didn’t go to prison like you did, but I came pretty damn close and that was my own father.” I wondered what happened as he went on, “He didn’t understand that you are to treat your family with nothing but love and kindness. That wives and kids didn’t need to be beaten in submission. That you could just be there for them without being nothing but the devil in their lives.”

“You defended your mom?” It was surprising that Jasper and I had been in the same shoes.  

He looked saddened. “Yeah, I did. But I wasn’t fast enough to defend my little sister and I lost her to that man.”

“Your father hurt her?”

“He killed her,” Jasper said stoically. “Snapped her neck.”

We stepped inside the restaurant and stood in the entryway off to the side. “I’m sorry.”

He smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. “His family blamed us for their relative’s behavior. They claimed he was a good man and it was my mama’s fault. She stressed him out and then blamed me because I was gay. They thought that my father excepted more of me and I disappointed him.”

“That’s bullshit!”

“I thought so too because I was the one living in the nightmare,” Jasper said and my heart broke for him. “My mama, myself, my sister; we were the ones dealing with that demon.”

“What happened to him?” I hated the bastard for hurting Jasper.

“He killed himself in prison,” Jasper said. “Before he went there though, I beat his ass to a pulp for killing my sister and putting my mama in a coma.”

“Is she alright now?” I know I should be seeking my family’s table out, but Jasper was what mattered to me right now.

“Yeah, she’s good. She lives here in Seattle, and day by day, she gets her life back.”

“You help her to, I’m sure.” I smiled. Jasper was such a good help to me, he must be amazing with his mom.

He chuckled. “I try to. We get along really fine. She’s an amazing mom.” His face lit up as he spoke of her. So!” He exclaimed. “Let’s this party started, because if I can live through hell, survived it, and walked scarred, but still, I try to help others. Then you can brave this dinner; with me by your side of course.” When he smiled, it reinforced my decision to let him know how I felt about him after dinner.

“Okay,” I sighed triumphantly. “Let’s do this.”

We moved out into the lavish setting of the restaurant and I began to search for my mom. But I didn’t have to look around for long.

“Come on, I think I see your mom,” Jasper said, taking my hand and sending a thousand volts through it. I was both shock from the spark I felt and the fact that he was holding my hand.

I almost dragged my hand away from him, because I was confused. How did he know what she looked like? Esme and Jasper have never met. Whenever she came to visit, we would meet in a park not far from the apartment, or in a café down the street from my building.

However, I didn’t dare to take my hand away from him, because that would mean I would have to let go of Jasper. “How do you know my mom?”

He pointed at Esme, jumping up and down from her table over by the corner and waving us over. “I think it’s the woman jumping up and down like a cheerleader.”

I laughed. “Yeah, that’s my mom.”

When we arrived at the table, Mom launched herself at me, wrapping me in a tight hug, before Dad had to pry her off so he could pull me into a hug of his own. My hand never left Jasper’s.

“Are you okay?” Dad whispered before we parted.

“I’m okay.” I smiled.

Alice was next. “Hi, big brother!” She jumped on me, laughing in my ear. “I missed you!”

“We just talked on the phone this morning, Alice.”

“So?” she exclaimed with a cocked brow, jumping down to stand beside me. “That was this morning. I still miss you.”

She turned her attention to Jasper almost immediately, noticing our clasped hands. She winked at me and then at Jasper, who just gave her that cocky smirk of his in response and my sister shivered. “He’s cute.”

“Why, thank you, ma’am.” Jasper drawled and Alice swooned. “Oh my God, Edward, is he a cowboy? Yummy!”

Mom pulled Alice away before I could even find anything to say. She still had tears in her eyes and I didn’t even know I was crying until they ran down my cheeks.

“Edward…” Mom whispered and flew into my open arms again. This time, Jasper let me go so I hug her to me and cry.  

It was an emotional dinner. But it was wonderful to be with them like this again. After a toast to my mom, Dad turned his attention to me, announcing that himself, Mom and Alice would be no longer following whatever ridiculous order, my granddad had come up with to keep us apart. I was no longer to stay away from them or them from me. I was to be welcomed back in their home and their lives because they would not go on without me.

I was family.

My mom said Dad went as far as to pull some strings, and get me a job in a law firm right here in Seattle with a good friend of his, Bella’s boss. Dad said there were a few minor details to work out, but eventually, I could still be a lawyer if I wanted.

By the time Jasper and I left the restaurant, I was happier than I had ever been. My granddad hadn’t shown up and I found out that it was because my dad had flat out told him not to. He hadn’t been invited.

The ride back to my place was silent as I contemplated what I would say to Jasper. He had revealed quite a bit about himself and I was happy he shared it with me. When he pulled to a stop in front of my building, I asked him to come up. When he accepted, my heart jumped in joy. The ride in the elevator up to my place was filled trepidation. But I was confident I could do this.

We got off the lift, and walked to my door. When we got inside, I offered Jasper a beer. He accepted and I went for two. I gave myself a pep talk on the way back to him, where he was seated on my couch, and I took a seat next him, handing him his beer.

He was all smiles as he drank it. But I knew that look. It was when he was waiting for me to do or say something. He kept giving me those little sideward glances with that smirk of his, and unhinged me, but in the most teasingly, tantalizing way.

By the time we finished our beers, I forgot what I wanted to say. I forgot how to speak! All I knew was that I wanted him.

He was leaning back against the couch. His long legs brushing up against mine as he rocked them while openly staring at me; his eyes alit with something indescribable, and I don’t know what he intended to do next, but I saw an opportunity when he drew close, leaning his elbows on his knees, and I took it.

His lips had looked so inviting and I wanted to do nothing more than kiss him. I wanted to feel those soft looking lips against my own and revel in his deep moans of pleasure that would leave him while our tongues swept over each other’s.

“Edward…” He breathed, his eyes locked with mine, and that was all it took. I crashed my mouth to his, hungrily parting his lips, and seeking out his hot little tongue, sucking on it.

I needed him and he wasn’t stopping me. When my lips moved to his neck, he arched it, giving me better access and hissed out, “What took you so long?”

I pulled back, staring at him in shock. “What?”

He chuckled darkly, the lust evident in his deep tone. “You’re such a fucking good guy. I tell you one thing in the car all those months ago, and you actually listened?”

“Of course, I fucking listened.” I breathed. “You said you didn’t fuck around with convicts.”

He leaned in, roughly pulled my jacket off and then his. “I changed my mind, because I don’t want to go on without you by my side. I have wanted you, Edward. You have no idea how bad I’ve wanted you. I’m sick of not having you in my bed and in my life.”

“I’m fucking in love with you,” I told him, pulling his face to mine, roughly pressing our lips together.

“I’m in love with you,” He pulled away and admitted. “I just didn’t know how to say it. I didn’t know if that was something you wanted. If it was just sex, or something more.”

Our lips met again before I whispered, “It was more.” I mumbled against his mouth. “It was so much more.”

I got up and dragged Jasper to the bedroom; our hands, a ball of fury as we ripped each other’s clothes off. His mouth was the sweetest I have ever tasted. A hint of peppermint along with the sugary sweetness of the strawberry gum he loved to chew when he wasn’t smoking. 

His lips moved down my body, kissing and biting. He dropped to his knees, kissing the tip of my erection before he took it between his lips, sucking the head. He licked the underside of my cock, and then sucked on my balls while I fought not to pass out from the intense pleasure coursing through me.

“Oh fuck!” I gripped his hair to steady myself. He took my length back in his mouth, working his way down to the base and back. He bobbed his head on it, causing waves of pleasure to build in the pit of my stomach. “Ungh, Jasper!”

When he moaned around me, the feel of it made my balls tighten as he sped up his efforts, driving me closer to the edge.

I thrust in his hot mouth, grasping his hair to still him as I fucked his mouth until my cum shot down his throat and he swallowed everything I had to give.

While he moved back with a satisfied smirk on his face, I dropped to my knees in front of him, trying to catch my breath. “That was…” He leaned forward, taking my lips between his own and silenced me with a hard kiss; holding me captive in a heated embrace while letting me taste myself on his lips. My cock twitched, coming to life as Jasper took my sensitive length in his hand, pumping me.

When he pulled away, his eyes held a naughty glint. “Are you going to fuck me or not?”

“You got a real dirty mouth, don’t you?”

He licked his lips, and then bit the bottom one. “Dirtier than you know.”

Wordlessly, I dragged him up off the floor and over to my bed, throwing him down on it. “I’m gonna teach you want happens to guys with dirty mouths.”

He smiled and groaned, stroking his hard length. “Oh really?”

“Turn over,” I demanded, and Jasper just stared at me with a challenging smirk. So I grabbed his ankles, pulling him close to the edge of the bed, smacked his hand away from his dick and flipping him over. He fell with a thud and hissed as his hard cock hit the mattress.

While running a finger down to the crack of his ass, circling his entrance, I leaned in and whispered, “Now that’s better.”

Moving away, I grabbed the lube and a condom, rolling it down my once again hard as stone length and slicking it up with lube.

Pouring some on my fingers, I prepared Jasper for my cock. “Fuck, Edward!” He groaned, pushing back against my fingers and circling his hips in time with my probing.

“Feels good?” I whispered, adding a third finger while loving how deep he could take them. My fingers couldn’t compare to the size of my dick, but it was a start. 

“Yes! I don’t want you to stop, but fuck, Edward, I want your cock. I want to feel you inside me.” He moaned.

I wasn’t about to deny the man what he wanted. But that wouldn’t stop me from teasing him. “You sure you can handle it?” I hissed in his ear, finger fucking his ass.

“Yes!” He groaned loudly, slamming his hips back.

With a smile, I pulled out my fingers, and placed myself at his entrance, pushing in slowly and stopping when he groaned.

“Fuck, you’re big.” He hissed, and I leered proudly.

“You okay?” It was killing me to stay still, but there would be other times to fuck him wildly after I got him use to my size.

“Yes…” He breathed. “Don’t stop.”

And I didn’t. I pushed my cock in him to the hilt, loving the little groans that left him. I rocked my hips into his, testing him, and he pushed back. “Don’t stop, Edward.”

And again, I didn’t.

We started out with a comfortable push and pull rhythm as his tight ass clenched around my hardened member while I drove into him more vigorously.

Everything I dealt out, Jasper gave back. I could fuck him forever. He felt so good wrapped around me.

“Don’t you fucking stop!” Jasper moaned in that demanding tone that I had come to love. He rocked his hips into mine…hard, and I gripped his thighs tightly, driving into him with all I had.

Sweat beamed down our bodies while the slamming of skin filled my bedroom. We changed positions more than once, until Jasper was on top of me, his hands braced against my chest while he bounced up and down on my cock.

“Oh fuck!” He groaned when I tore my mouth away. “You cock feels so good, baby. Don’t stop!”

Grasping his hair, I pulled him up, roughly pressing his lips to mine in a hard kiss. He moaned into my mouth. I yanked my lips away, but kept a tight hold on his hair. “I want you to cum for me,” I said, breathlessly.

“Uhhh…ungh!” he groaned while I stroked his dick.

 “Yes…” I moaned, wanting to push him over the edge. “I want to feel you…mmm…cum on my dick. Come on, baby, fuck my cock.” His hips moved faster when I said that, pushing his cock into my hand while I roughly pumped him.

His cock twitched. His ass tightened around my length, and pulled me over the edge with him, shouting his release and spurting cum all over my chest and hand.

Jasper collapsed against my chest, but I didn’t stop moving. Slowly, I grinded my cock in his ass, not wanting to leave his body just yet as we come down from our mutual high. He chuckled deeply through it all, but kept moving with me.

When I finally stopped, he whispered, “We should get cleaned up.”

“Yeah.”

Jasper and I moved around tiredly, a kiss here and there, after I disposed of the condom and gathered up our scattered clothes and headed for the bathroom, where we showered together.

We left the bathroom behind, and went bed, curled up in each other’s arms. I felt so safe and loved, curled up in Jasper’s arms.

“So what now?” I asked, sleep threatening to take me.

His deep chuckles made me look up at him. “It’s simple, darlin’…” My heart leaped at the sentiment, now knowing why he always said to me. “We find a way to be together.”

I smiled and kissed him. 

Later on, we woke up and made love again. But this time, afterward, I watched Jasper sleep. I didn’t want to close my eyes. I wanted to just lay there and stare at his beautiful face.

Almost ten years ago, I lost everything. I threw away a dream and walked into a nightmare after I killed my biological father. When one family member tried to deny me, my parents stood up and fought for me. When I thought I would never find love or have a happy life, I found Jasper; who awakened a passion in me like no other.

Where our lives will lead us, I don’t know. But with Jasper by my side, I didn’t care. As long as I had him with me, it would be perfect.

Thnx for reading!